A blah day, where I get to moan. And think about slinkies.

Been a bit of a while since I last graced these pages with a bland mixture of social comment and whinging. And, as I sit at my desk and ponder the non-excitement of my life while the body vacuums up the caffeine it has just ingested, will today be any different?

Whew. Second session at Pilates mat class since early December. I am beginning to remember muscles I never knew I had. Especially as I am asked to move them in ways I am sure nature never intended. My nature, anyway. Ok, so I did notice, before 'summer break' that I was actually developing biceps. Which is a bit of a miracle. For me. I don't think I even had those when I was a kid. Now, if I can just get the same thing happening for those 'canteen lady' arms I am forced to work with.....

Ah. Slinkies. I remember the hours, well minutes, of fun I had with those as a kid. Pushing them down the back stairs. Watching them fall through the steps. Into the dirt. Because they never seemed to make it to the next stair. Back when slinkies were actually metal. Not this cheapo plastic stuff they pass off as slinkies these days. And trying to sort out the tangles. They always managed to get into some sort of rubic's puzzle which could never be sorted. After days of trying. And finally crying "Da-ad!" So. Here's to slinkies --

"Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs."

-- Don't know who said that. But I like it........

A tribute to the Older Woman. At last!

Ok, so it's not new. But being over 30 and headed for a birthday, I thought I would give myself an ego boost, mega-trip or what ever. Just because I can. And I want to. So there. And just for spice - it is the variety of life y'know - I've added my thoughts. Because I can. And I want to. So there.

This was written by Andy Rooney from CBS 60 Minutes. So they say. It's done it's fair share of the email rounds.

Andy Rooney says......:

As I grow in age, I value women who are over 30 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think. If a woman over 30 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting. (Heck yes)

A woman over 30 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 30 care what you might think about her or what she's doing. (True)

Women over 30 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.. Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated. (Ok, but jumping in puddles doesn't necessarily class as 'dignified')

A woman over 30 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. (Or other women with her man?)

Women over 30 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her. (Honey, no man is worth the destruction of a good friendship)

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 30. They always know. (We've been there?)

A woman over 30 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women. (Nor I, I confess)

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 30 is far sexier than her younger counterpart. (I and my wrinkles thank you)

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her. (Yes, usually every 28 days)

Yes, we praise women over 30 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed hot woman of 30+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress. (Poor waitress. How embarrassment)

Ladies, I apologize for all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free". Here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire Pig, just to get a little sausage!!!

TG for POETS Day

Well, it's Friday. And I can't wait to get out of here. Fair enough to say I am at work. Doing worky things. Or at least I was. Very slack worky things though. Organising for a conference, so I just have to take time to view a vid of a proposed speaker. Have to make sure he makes the grade. And check out some samples of collateral. Got to make sure they are up to standard too. Ah, sometimes I love this job. Since I have been flat out, busily inspecting this stuff, I think it's time to pull up a chair, put up the feet and ruminate about what I can possibly put in my blog today. I'm learning to type with the keyboard on my lap...

I read another blog which lurks around the blogger site. As in read, present tense. Regularly. Religiously even. It gives me something to look forward to in the morning. When they contribute that is. Which is most days. It always makes me smile, but today one paragraph was so funny, I cacked out loud. Which elicited a quick check to make sure that no one was lurking in the immediate vicinity. Wondering who let the chooks loose. But no, I was quite alone and therefore safe.

But, back to the title, it's Friday. And I can't wait to get out of here. Because, as you may have guessed, tomorrow is Saturday. And I am still currently Teen-less. It has, oddly enough, been a very quiet week. MOTH has been at a loose end. No one to argue with. Not as much washing. As for the social front, well, as stated previously, compared to my life, Eleanor Rigby's was a mad, mad whirl. But I do have an invitation this weekend. Themed. Wigs and silly hats. Can't we just make do with rapier wit and sparkling conversation???

Diet and Exercise are dirty words.....

Agh, I swore. I had better wash my mouth out with chocolate.....

Decided to take a little time out for myself this morning. I always get a smile - the back of the door has a little advert for a counselling service on campus. To talk about a difficult relationship with food. Heck yes! It's stalking me! It won't leave me alone! It's everywhere I look! And darn, I can't live without it! Is that difficult?

I have succumbed. To the food yes. She says, wiping the grease from her fingers after tucking into the chips. Or crisps if you prefer. But I have been thinking about seriously trying to lose weight. Thinking. Difficult concept for me. The Dr last year told me to consider a low GI diet. I'm still considering.......

Tennis anyone? Or how to have a good time at the match...

Looking at the news last night, I thought they were talking about soccer. You know. The 'hooligans'. The ones who seem to think a match just isn't a match without a good no holds barred riot and more blood letting than a gathering of emo's. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that it was tennis. At the Australian Open. And not just any bunch of no-hopers, but Serbs and Croats. Now I know they don't exactly like each other, but WTF? It's Australia. We don't give a toss about their little feud. Certainly not at one of our more prestigious sporting events. And if these people were supposed to be Australian residents, then shame, shame, shame. Uh, oh. Beginning to sound like a certain tv/radio show host who has long since fallen from grace ... or an old age pensioner .... ....

And while I am ranting - and trying to avoid work to boot - what about that cowardly animal who attacked and robbed that wheelchair bound woman? In her home? WTF was that all about?

PS ... To Sir, With Love

Whoops. Have just realised that the name I picked for one of my characters is female and is of german extraction. Considering this was for a male, that could be tricky. Might have to modify it with an apostrophe or something...... I liked the sound of it.

So, skinny or rich?

One of the local stations has a phone in. Every morning. Usually while I am on the way to work. Considerate of them, isn't it. I am not sure what kicked it off this morning, but the eventual topic was if you could choose, which would it be. Skinny, or rich. For me, this would be a no-brainer, but it seemed that some of the girls thought otherwise. Ooohhhh, part of me says I want to be skinny, and part of me says I want to be rich. I don't know what the out come was, I arrived before it ended. The fellas on the 'panel' thought Rich. How could there be any other choice? And for me, I'm right there with 'em.

I mean, I'm not young any more. I've had a couple of kids. Things are no longer where they used to be. And I figure, they aren't likely to ever get back that way in a hurry. Unless I kill myself at the gym to lose a little, and nature sure as heck isn't going to stand by and let me get away with that. So, if I'm rich, I can buy a gym membership and a fitness guru to totally ignore. I would much rather pay attention to my hairdresser, my stylist and my wardrobe mistress. Oh, and the dentist and the beauty consultant. Tell you, they would have to earn their money. But if you're rich, you can get away with a lot. Skinny chick couldn't afford that. And I could spend the rest of my life looking like a million dollars. And rich. Did I mention rich?

Where did that weekend go?

Wow, can't believe the weekend is nearly over all ready. Well, actually I can. Things just seem to be going faster each year. Here we are, nearly half way through January. 2007. I had better not blink or 2008 will be here.

I wrote earlier that the Teen was going to be starting a new job. Or did I? I thought I had, and if not, too bad. Old Timers does that kind of thing to a person. I was beginning to think that they would never give her a start. It seems that the outgoing manager hired on, and the incoming manager did too. And neither bothered to tell the other. She was finally contacted yesterday though and told she starts tomorrow. I think she's nervous.....

That does kind of put a bit of a dent in her plans. She was going to be doing the swap thing staying at a friend's place for a week. Mind, I think by the end of this week they were a bit sick of each other. Suspected that might happen, but you can't tell them..... Which means, basically, that the second Teen is now back to her usual abode and things are beginning to return to normal here. Or as normal as they get.

Been checking out that brushing up on drawing skills I set myself. Lucky that wasn't a new year resolution. I wanted a book that would give me some basics. Sure, the web works, but printing out the info isn't easy. Hmmm. Didn't think it would be that difficult to find a book! Unless I order it on line. Long live the web!

Don't you hate it when you put something away in a safe place? You know the type. A safe place where you won't lose it and it won't get damaged. Old Timers has come to visit again, and now I can't find it. Actually, it's more a 'them'. How do you lose a collection of comics? Ok, so as a collection it's pretty motley, but it's still mine. And I still like to read them. Wonder where the heck they are??? Knowing the way things work for me, I'll find them again ..... in about 6 months time when I have lost something else ....

Memo to me....

Well, another day. Nothing exciting happening on the SOL horizon. Things have been quiet with MOTH and the 2 Teens. Although he did phone me at work to specifically tell me that he had managed to escape the house without them. Isn't that sweet. He loves to keep me up to date.

The Elder is home today, so I imagine that when I get home, MOTH will regale me with tales of woe, and the Teen will also do the same - because she can't get access to the computer....

Memo to me ... brush up on my cartooning skills. I have 2 characters, Winter and Dagmar. Do I try to draw them in the style of the graphic novels, or go for a manga look? I know what they should look like, but I think manga could mean that Dagmar begins to look a little too much like Tuxedo Mask for comfort.......

Just another day in Paradise... ah, if only

I have a sensitive mouse. Yes, it gets hurt very easily. I move the mouse, the pointer moves. Sounds pretty basic. But try getting the mouse too close to the keyboard and that's another matter. It clicks. Yes, a touch of the corner of the keyboard on the mouse button and next thing I know, I am somewhere I never expected to be....

Well, summer is here. Finally. Not that I am happy about that. The weather had been particularly mild, remembering of course that Christmas in Oz falls in summer. If I bother to take notice, seems that everywhere is having strange weather. Somewhere down south had snow. In summer. Global warming. Go figure.

Going to be a fun week in the house this week. I have a second Teen in the house for a week. One of the Teen's besties. At least for now. We'll see when they get to spend even more time together, jostling for position in the bathroom and priority in the phone queue. Although, each of them does have a mobile of their own. And sharing a room for a week when they normally have their own space. Heck, this could be like Big Brother. But more interesting.

And a merry 2007 to you too......

Wow, 2007.

....AAAGGGGHHHH!.... Totally auspicious beginning to 2007. Stupid computer froze, and now I have to try rewrite this tome ... ... ...

Well, I survived Christmas. It is over, gone, past. The tree is still standing and the deckkies are still on the windows. The food is gone and the leftovers tossed. All I have to do now is get myself motivated to organise a cleanup detail to get rid of the rest of the evidence.

New Year happened just as I predicted. Heck yes, I'm good. I went to bed at a decent human hour - ok, so I crashed at 9.30pm. New Year is just another day - only to be woken by the rowdies down the way at 11.59pm. Counting in the new year, yay for them. Yelling, blowing some horn thing. Yelling some more. Brilliant. And when I woke again at 2.25am, they were still at it. I was thinking that someone really needed to have that horn thing shoved where the sun don't shine. And then off to sleep again. Nope, not much keeps me awake. Discussing it with MOTH this morning, he suggested surprise that I hadn't commented that somone with the horn should have been walking funny ... I think we have been spending too much time together ...

I did manage to get together some christmas music for my enjoyment at work on Christmas Eve. However, there was only 1 of the GT in the immediate vicinity to overhear, and since he was the one requested I play it over and ramp the volume, I didn't really end up annoying anyone. And he had the audacity to giggle at the song I included specifically for him. Bit of a let down.... but I still enjoyed the music in our normally sound sterile work atmosphere.

As for Ms A-nonny-mouse, it's not a matter of where my taste went. You should know me well enough by now. It was more a question of what I could find for my own little anti-christmas. =]

But now we are into the new year, and I am just waiting for the Easter Crass Commercialism stuff to begin. At least the payoff is chocolate.......

The Last Bastion of Manliness and Merry Xmas to Me....

But not necessarily in that order.....

Ok, so I give up. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. As someone famous once said. Well, I guess they did. Someone got that expression from somewhere. The presents are wrapped and under the tree, which btw, is the first thing you see when you enter the house. Ok, so it would be if I could get MOTH and the Teen to use the front door. But, as I was saying, they are under the tree. Brightly coloured and hidden in plain sight. It's done this way to give the Teen one less reason to go riffling through my cupboards. It means though that we have to put up with the constant "are we there yet?" questions from both Teen and the Elder. The scarey part is it's beginning to rub off on me. Yes, I am losing my curmedgeon-like Bah Humbuginess and beginning to hear the lure of the wrapping and the gifts. Calling, whispering, beckoning, shifting, moving ....... "come on now, you know you want to. There's a good kiddie, quickly now, take a peek, no one is looking and I won't tell. Come on now .... just a little bit closer ...... that's right ...... ha! Gotcher!" I buckled. I succumbed. ..... I peeked ..... Well, just one. A voucher. I opened the envelope and looked. A mental 'naughty, naughty, naughty' at myself and returned it to the envelope. But like a junkie or something, I returned to the scene of the crime and completed the job. I looked at the amount. And put it back under the tree. Later in the week I had the opportunity to indulge in regret and guilt.... hmmm would you believe a tiny amount of regret? ... when I realised that this was the second gift mother bought me after she told me what the first was. After she thought she had given me something I wouldn't like. ... Sorry mum ...

Did I mention something in the title about manliness? Yes. Yes I did. Well apparently a "men's business club" here has voted against granting women full membership. That's right. We can join as associate members, but can't join in our own right. This, I read, is the fourth vote-down in the last 2 years. Seems to be an issue that splits the members themselves, and of course we have the requisite number of whining women who want to become members. Well, ever wondered why they call them members? You gotta have one to be one. But since women can still swan around the dining rooms and still be seen by all the right people - this place requires a $1100 joining fee - I really can't see what the problem is. So you can't sit on the committee. Whoop-de-doo. If you have the ear of one of the members, you can still brow beat him into submission. I really think this could just be a case of wanting something just because we can't have it...... And let's face it, if there is a place where you can shepherd him off for exclusive baby sitting to play with his manly men men friends while you go max his card, then long live the all male bastion I say!

Why can't I find that music? An ode to online downloads

Ok, so I am after a particular song. Nothing special, but perhaps it might be a little obscure. Possibly. My Chemical Romance. All I Want for Christmas Is You. Nothing too difficult, right? Wrong.

It's getting on to Christmas. I thought I might try curb the Bah! Humbug! gag reflex by composing my own CD of lovely little Christmas songs. To play at work. Just for myself. And anyone else unfortunate enough to be in the immediate vicinity. Wonderful things, like the above work, contributions by Elmo & Patsy and Weird Al.

But after about 3 or more days of Googling, Yahooing, Asking and begging, Christmas songs are thin on the ground. And try finding a download site that doesn't charge the earth, or a free one that doesn't file share. I thought I might have been on to a winner - Sony Music Store - but no! I live outside the US. The Teen had a favourite, but has been unable to renew her credit. Most unhappy and disgruntled has she been. Time to duck for cover.

So in an effort to find something, I have been forced to create myself a profile on myspace. Yup. Finally succumbed. Maybe there is something on music there. Yeah, right. Like when The Gods Must Be Crazy sees a rise in popularity and resurrects it's status from cult to mainstream....

For holidays that are waaaay too short

Just reading back over that plather that serves for a journal, I notice that it's been a while since I last posted. I could ask where the time has gone, but it could have just passed me by while I have been lurking on the dark side of the moon.

I have been on holidays and for a week at least of that, there has been no access to a computer. None. If it were possible, there may have been a trace of the DDT's for a while there.

Not that I'm a net-a-holic or such, but when you have no choice, things begin to get grim. I had to resort to rummaging through bookshelves for something to entertain myself with. It would have been nice to reacquaint myself with some of my favourites, but that would have involved waay too much effort. They are buried at the back of the shelves behind the romances and I was supposed to be on holiday after all.

The first week was spent doing as little as possible. Didn't want to make those days go too quickly. And it worked. The first week dragged. But then, the Elder requested that I 'help' her visit my folks. Who happen to live about an 8 hour drive away. Spending a week in that house always has appeal, but boy doesn't that wear off quick when you actually get there. Cats, bird and people rule what little space is to be had. And ... no computer.

Still, I managed to last the week, overdosed on the Teen's current obsession - My Chemical Romance, fought with the niece and nephew, ignored the siblings, got tasted by the birds, and bled by the cat. But best of all ... ... ... I managed to dutifully annoy my mother AND miss the Christmas rush when the rest of the relatives arrive ... ...

To the celebration of Firsts.....

Been a while since I last blogged it seems. I am getting somewhat slack. And for a person as verbose as I, that's no small thing. Mayhap the year is drawing to a close and I am running out of my yearly word quota..... A first on it's own.

I was keeping a journal at home as well. Just a small one. To chronicle my first brush with a broken bone. Assuming I live the expected age span, I have made it through about half my life without ever having done anything energetic enough to break anything. And eventually, there was nothing energetic about the event, just a fall after getting off a bus, but boy, did I make a public spectacle of myself. Dunno if that was a first though.... However, I digress, the Teen asked me to make another entry last night. First one since August.

But today is a momentous one. The Teen is about to have her first ....... job interview! Ah, so grown up. And I feel so old. But because I am working - wotta drag - I can't be there to hold her hand like my mother did for me (Mu-um!) Actually that could be a good thing - I don't recall answering many of the questions, mum did it all for me. Mind, a healthy dose of the 'who-you-knows' went into that one.

But good luck Teen. You'll be fine. Just remember that if this one doesn't work out, there is always something better around the corner.

My environment......

Woot! A new camera. A photo study of where I live and work. My environment........

To which I say Bah Humbug! And give thanks to the muppets...

Well, I notice that it's now November, I have barely recovered from Easter, and the Christmas dekkies have made an appearance in the shops. Now I don't know if it's just me, but they seem to come, suddenly popping out from behind the Halloween toys and sweets and announcing loudly in glittering colours of green, red and gold, that hey! extract that digit 'cause there are only 'blah' shopping days left until the Teen gets to rip the paper off, curl her nose up because it's not the latest Louis Vuitton accessory and toss it in the corner sometime between opening and New Year's Day.

Not that I'm cynical or anything. I mean, I just love standing around in the heat with the rest of the family, watching the tempers fray, listening to the nieces and nephews fight over possession of each other's gifts, and tuck into handfuls of wilted lettuce and melted chocolate. Not in the same bowl, of course. And since they are teetotallers, not even a decent beer to help wash it down.

Seems to me that once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away I did enjoy the Christmas spirit. But I was young and foolish then, and I didn't have to do much beyond trimming the tree and tearing the paper off the presents. Heck, I didn't even have to clean up the leftover wrapping. Dad used to put the Santa hat on, we'd all sit around and wait with baited breath while he - very slowly I might add - handed out each individual gift. Oddly enough, it's still a Family Tradition and the Teen and the Elder still enjoy it. Now I spend my time wrestling the tree out of the box and attempting to assemble it, worrying that we have enough food in the house, preparing food and clean up the paper leftovers. Put my gifts to one side so I can make the anticipation last, cause after they have laid themselves bare to my gaze, it's just another day. Oh, and after New Year, wrestle the tree back into the box and clean up the bits of tinsel that have fallen off the decorations.

But maybe this year will be different. Just the 3 of us. Hang on, maybe 4. I'll get my hands on Tim Burton's A Nightmare Before Christmas, and A Muppet Christmas Carol. Hang lights on the window and forget the tree. Let them eat chocolate for the day! And no opening presents until after lunch! Heck eat lunch all day! (See statement re chocolate) Stock in some alcohol. Run a repeat of the muppet movie and blast myself icy with the airconditioning - which I have this year.

Yes! Roll on Christmas......

The Woman

She walks down the road, carefully lifting and placing one foot in front of the other. Long blonde hair, once luxurious now streaked with silver and tarnish. Her lipstick is a vivid red slash against the paleness of her face. Sunglasses, square and dark obscure her eyes. The corner of a brown jacket slaps against her thigh in the wind. She leans forward as she moves, pushing against an unseen foe.

I sit, safe from the bite of the wind, in the car and watch as she moves past. Where is she going? What marvels, sorrows and joys have passed through her life? What tales could she tell if I were to ask?

Perhaps she is alone, a once loved husband lost through the mists of time. A love so grand, that once lost, could never be replaced? Is this a slow, lonely journey to the supermarket to purchase those small portions that speak of a solitary life?

How fondly does she look back on the special moments of her life - her first dance, her first kiss, the blush of a bride on that magical day?

Children of her own, and grandchildren. A house filled with love and joyous laughter. Treats must be bought, a dinner planned.

Man’s modern marvels, to celebrate our inventiveness – radio, television, a man on the moon.

Ah, what tales could she tell if I were to ask?

To recalcitrant plumbing ... and maybe other things

Third start - think I should give up. Was thinking about sink traps the other day. What the heck are they good for anyway? Thank heaven for Google. I found out. The water stops the nasty gas breaking into your home through the pipes. Hmm reminds me of some very spooky episodes of X Files. What I haven't figured out is why the trapped water smells so much. MOTH has to keep putting cleaner through the pipes to stop the smell. Something I have only noticed in the low set houses I have lived in. The ones built with a cement slab for foundations. How come it does that? Google hasn't answered that one.....

TGIF and the learning of obfuscation.......

It's finally the end of another week. And it hasn't come too soon really. Time has flown, I've accomplished nothing and missed my walk. Alright, so it's only the morning gone, but still. It's the principal of the thing.

Ever noticed how you think you're alone. The opportunity arises to indulge in a little bad behaviour, then suddenly you aren't as alone as you think. It happened to a friend of a friend of mine.... ok, so it was a work colleague. Went to ask him a question, but was warned off. Trouser cough. He'd just decided he was fine, and I walked around the corner. Whew. Mind, I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe, so didn't have the chance to succumb to the effects of the gas. Or maybe it was laughing gas......

Obfuscate: to confuse, bewilder, stupify. To make so unclear as to be difficult to understand.

Been having a running battle with an outside agency about exactly what paperwork she needs to process a reimbursement of travel expenses. She and one of the GT have been debating for a while. The GT candidate - hereby referred to as J - has been having a running arguement about tickets v boarding passes. Although they seem to be talking about the same thing. Who knows. They don't. In the World According to J, she would be told that the Uni is ISO(blah) certified and we need to store the original here for an x amount of time and so we need the orignals here and we can't send the originals over there because we need them for audit purposes too you know and haven't you asked for the originals of the things we sent you and now you want the tickets because the originals of what we sent you you decided weren't what you wanted and we sent them to you yesterday before we got the email and now we have to send them again and so we sent you an email to let you know that we are sending to you originals of what you were supposed to be asking for and confusing us about and .......... I think you get the idea .........